My room is my sanctuary. I love every bit of it. From the bright white carpet to the soft green curtains hanging low to the floor. They framed a tall wide window surrounded by light pink walls. Of course my bed sheets matched that soft green, almost the same color as a lima bean. Odd, I know, but when you take a step back, my room looks like a lighter colored watermelon without the seeds.
But the colors aren't my favorite part of the room. It is sitting at the window seat in front of my big bright window. The window pillow is very comfortable to sit on; the top is a pale green with pink vine flowers sewed into the cover. This very place is where I spend most of my time thinking, wishing and longing. For it is this spot where I can feel a tugging in my heart.
I always wondered how people could walk in my room and only notice or admire the colors or the many picture frames hanging on my wall of art. How could they not notice the place where I felt God speaking to me the most? Or the radiant sunshine shining through the window glass, warming up my room, even my very soul. How could they miss the spectacular view from my window?-God's beautiful creation. There is of course the big maple tree that slightly hang its leaves over the window view and then there is the birdfeeder that attracts all those beautiful birds. Sometimes I fall asleep just listening to their songs. But beyond the birdfeeder and the big maple tree, are rolling green hills and a big woods, thick with trees. That adventurous, perfect woods has stolen a piece of my heart. It was where I spent most of my days as a child exploring the beauty of God's creation and allowing Him to take me on many wild adventures. Adventures that only increased my sense of wonder...my innocent way.But now God was calling me on a new adventure. One that I am surely struggling whether or not to go on. It is a decision, maybe the hardest decision I would ever make, but I hear it is surely the best one and most rewarding...... Then what is holding me back? What keeps me from opening up to this great adventure and saying yes?
God is simply asking me to "let it all go. Surrender...let go and your adventure will begin. An adventure you could never dream up yourself. You just have to let Me, your Father, lead you this time. But, you have to Give it ALL."
You think it is simple to give God everything - your hopes, your worries, fears and even your dreams. But it isn't. If everybody did, they would have an everlasting peace in their hearts; a joy that no one could bend and a love that no one could crush. And yet we continue to think we can control, that we can accomplsih our dreams ourselves. We are afraid to hand our dreams over- afraid to lose them. But, if we really knew God, we would know that we wouldn't lose anything but instead, we would gain everything. God knows our deepest desires better than we do. He is our Daddy, whos' love is so deep and so profound, that human beings could not handle the whole depths of it. If we could, I most surely believe that we would die from happiness.
So as I sit at this peaceful place at my window- just me, God and His beauty, I struggle to let go. Can I really trust this Man with EVERYTHING? Can I surrender it ALL?
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